Looking back to look forward….
12 years of my most precious youth, young womanhood and motherhood in Malaysia has had its losses and gains, ups and downs, happiness and disappointments, laughter and tears ….
12 years in a foreign land, it was not all that easy, especially for such young innocent girl from mainland China, coming all alone. Along the years, I fell, I hit rock bottom, and I missed some great opportunities…. But I learnt to be stronger and better, I learnt to be true to who I am. I learnt the essence of dignity and success.
Along the years, I had quite a lot people who might have only accompanied me for a short yet memorable journey. You did leave some footprints on this journey of mine. You are the dismissible ‘puzzles‘. You know who you are.
Along the years, I made some beautiful friendships, sisters, brothers, lovers and affairs … you are the witnesses of my progression and achievements. You are my achievements.
A few dear friends asked me with tears in their eyes, ‘how do you feel, do you feel sad leaving Malaysia?’ I don’t know, excited maybe? Yes. Sad? Not yet… deep down, I want to leave, and it’s about time. It’s not so much about leaving the things behind, it’s about moving on … and I am ready.
When I look back at these 12 years, what a journey! Truly! The things that I have been through, the people I have met, the shits I had to put up with, the joys that lightened up my purpose of being….. Too much to be said……. It shaped me today and will continue to guard me tomorrow.
A few milestones; first ’real’ boyfriend when I was 19, a taste of love; and a first long relationship with Shi Yuan (first local Chinese bf) for 2 and half years, failed but important; decided to transfer from Business courses to Psychology, grew out of my shell, made some real dear friends who appreciated and loved me and grew up together with me, accompanied with some crazy parties and love affairs; Met Al in 2002, fell in love, formed into a beautiful partnership; working in Firestar where it taught me a way of thinking which still benefits me professionally and personally; 2006, a ’break’ from Al and met Sandro, love, pureness and passion; then, fell in love with Al again… then Archie. Then, most recently, TNS - here, it adds up to 12 years of fun, hardship and growing up.
Goodbye, Malaysia, I have given you 12 years of my youth, womanhood and commitment. You have given me a world, an era.
Looking back so I can look forward.
With the things I want to do in my life, I am only half way there!
