what is it..
I can feel my blood rushing through my veins, my heart’s racing, my left eye’s twitching, the anticipation of standing in front of these 100 odd marketing professionals to ask a question made me experience a sensation that I have never experienced before - the feeling of extreme nervousness, not beyond just nervousness - fear, self consciousness.
I’ve never been afraid of public speaking or public attention - there will be a little bit of tingling feeling at beginning of the speech but I rather enjoy it - the attention part of it, the communication part of it. Neither have I been afraid of talking to someone who is older - who holds a higher position, who is important or powerful. I have never been afraid of so-called authority figures. I view them as equals.
Why is this new sensation happening now? The sensation stayed even when I finished asking the question to the panel of speakers. I had to use my nails to pinch my hand to clam down.
This is incredibly interesting. What is bothering me? My level of confidence? Internal conflicts? What is it? Why the older I get more self conscious I have became?
I tell myself not to reject this feeling, it actually made me think.
What I really need is a fair and constructive assessment.
